SAF BLOG POSTS
LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME
When military families experience trauma and pain, so do the children. The children in a family also go through deployments, moves, the highs and lows of military and Veteran life and witness any arguments and strife. Often times the adults in their lives are consumed with so many obstacles, obligations and responsibilities that they forget the tiniest members of the family unit are always watching and being shaped by what they see.
When the VA botched our Veterans surgery, our two year old experienced the challenges of living at the Fisher House with us for 7 months. She spent her 3rd birthday there. It wasn’t easy for her. As we were trying to navigate and understand everything that was happening to us, we weren’t equip to effectively lead the tiniest member of our unit through it, so we absolutely understand how this cycle begins. We didn’t learn the tools and resources we needed to do that until the following year(s). She needed healing from that experience and what followed just as much as we did. But these cycles can stop with you. Just as trauma can pass from generation to generation, so can healing.
That’s why at Set Apart Farms, we have a family focus to include all members of the family unit.
It’s important to build our children up and be a light during our times in the darkness. It’s not always easy though. However, often times, the consequences of not making these changes with our children can be severe and long lasting. Emotions that children feel can overwhelm them and if not understood or resolved turn into resentment, anger and rebellion towards the parents. Part of healing is being willing to go back to moments of their pain and trauma, not to justify our behaviors as parents, but to ask for forgiveness. We do this in much the same way that the Bible tells us to forgive others and ask forgiveness from Jesus. Through Jesus, God has extended His mercy and forgiveness to mankind.
All members of our family unit are seeking such love. Our children will most likely be the first ones to forgive and work towards new beginnings, but not if we fail to ever ask them. Once forgiveness is embraced in the family unit, true emotional and spiritual healing can begin.
There’s never a perfect time to start the healing process, so we suggest starting today right where you are, wherever that may be. If we start making it a daily habit to tell them that they are valuable and needed in our family unit then it becomes a natural part of our day. At Set Apart Farms, healing families matters.
There’s many ways to tell your children they are loved:
- You make a difference!
- My world is better with you in it!
- It’s fun to do things with you!
- You showed enormous strength in tacking this challenge.
- I really want to hear what you have to say.
- You’re the kind of friend I would’ve liked to have at your age.
- Your ideas matter.
Words of encouragement and affirmation are an easy and effective way to start healing old wounds and family trauma.
We must remember the words that God provided in regards to our children.
Children are an inheritance from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is the reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of ones youth." - Psalm 127:3-4
With love and guidance, our children will grow to be skillful leaders of their own family units one day. Your family, marriage and children matter. A solid family unit is a vital defense against the enemy. There is still an adversary to tackle. There is still a war to fight. Only this time it’s coming for your family. God will equip you with all the weapons to destroy this enemy. But we must be willing to do things differently and with the same intensity and dedication as in war(s) of the past.
“Faith led and family driven” we are doing things a better way. Let us help, because together we are stronger. And a strong family unit is the way to victory.